Since past few days I have been reading a book “The Course of Love”. There are many quotes which I liked from the book, but there's one which made me think:
We all constantly interpret the present through the distortion of the past. Which means our unconscious draws a connection between minor things that are out of place in present and major things that were once out of place in the past.
So if you think about it, all the instances when you thought the other person was over reacting, or judging you for something you didn't do, can be justified. They were just trying to protect themselves, based on the experience from their past. But can it be really be justified? Can all the bad behaviors and over reactions be ignored because of this? I know I will do it, I will ignore it all, but is there a limit? How much can you take it?
The other side of this is, loving someone requires you to accept their present, past & future. They are who they are because of the experiences they had in past, and no one can change that. So even if at times it seems insane, you need to understand them and accept that behavior. But only if there's acceptance from them about this insanity, this insanity would make sense and it would be worth it. Because then maybe you could find a middle ground, where you can make them understand that you deserve them and care for the. That they can trust you and they will eventually let their guard down around you.